What Does It Mean to Have Someones Back
Technology keeps people connected in fantastic new ways just also introduces troublesome grey areas when it comes to communication. In his first book, 11 Points Guide to Hooking Upward, comedy writer Sam Greenspan offers tips for handling dating sites, Facebook Walls and other potentially dating pitfalls of the mod world.
To get a taste of what Greenspan, creator of the xi Points website, has to offer, check out this excerpt from his book on the surreptitious meanings of punctuation in text messages. 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up hits stores Wednesday.
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The way yous use an exclamation point tin change your dating life.
Texting removes the song cues we once used to overanalyze if someone liked u.s.a.. Now we have to expect at 140 to 160 characters -- and with less raw data to piece of work with, our overanalyzing hits a whole different level of insanity. One key attribute of that insanity is reading way as well much into every dash of every text bulletin, especially punctuation. Then ... hither are the clues his/her punctuation choices are sending (and also the clues you're sending right back).
- Period.
Pregnant: Yous don't want to keep going back and along all nighttime.
In texting, y'all don't accept to stop a sentence with whatever punctuation. It's totally acceptable to just allow it dangle. So using a period gives a certain air of finality to a statement. Compare:
I'm heading out to the party at present.
I'k heading out to the party now
In the first one, the significant is clear: we've had our dorsum-and-forth over text, merely I have plans, and they do not include continuing this conversation -- period. In the 2d ane, *without the period, it feels much more than open-ended * -- I'thou heading out to the political party now but who knows what I'm doing later, and you just might exist role of it. Periods stop things. Leaving one out keeps things open.
- Exclamation Point!
Meaning: Something between playful and desperate, depending on usage.
The assertion point is the nigh valuable punctuation marking you accept in your arsenal, but information technology's also the well-nigh dangerous. When used properly, a single exclamation point can gear up a light tone, convey excitement, and even demonstrate interest. Compare:
Sounds practiced. Not sure if nosotros're going but I might see you at the party. If you lot leave, let me know
Sounds practiced. Not sure if we're going but I might see you at the political party. If you leave, let me know!
The person in the second example seems far, far more interested in getting together ... and did it without irresolute a word .
>It's always ameliorate to play it cool than to play it like a 12-year-old writing YouTube comments.
But be careful. Exclamation points are the most abused piece of punctuation in our globe today. When you start overusing exclamation points, you look like an amateur:
Sounds good! Non sure if nosotros're going but I might run into yous at the party! If you exit, let me know!
The first exclamation betoken is OK ... the 2d is way besides overeager ... and the third is just flat-out drastic. And when in dubiety, get rid of the exclamation point. It's e'er better to play it cool than to play it like a 12-yr-old writing YouTube comments.
- Semicolon.
Pregnant: You're trying too hard.
No one uses semicolons in day-to-twenty-four hours coincidental writing; it'southward a literary piece of punctuation, not a vernacular one. So using a semicolon in a text shows you've thought out, revised, and overedited your message. That means you're trying too hard, and there's nada worse than trying too hard. A semicolon in a text bulletin is the equivalent of putting on makeup to become to the gym .
- Apostrophe.
Meaning: You pay attending to the little things.
In text state, apostrophes have become endangered species. Youd is just as acceptable at you lot'd. Id is just as acceptable as I'd. Youre is just every bit acceptable as you're. (Or, on the Net, your.)
So when you actually accept the time to use an apostrophe, it means something. I like to think it sends a subconscious bulletin that you accept the actress time to do things right . And that attempt hints that you'd be a real difficult-working giver in a human relationship -- or at least into one extremely memorable sexual escapade.
- Left and Right Braces.
Meaning: You're approaching this as well logically.
In my experience, no ane uses the left and right braces unless they're a math guy or reckoner programmer. Either way, they're looking at the current romantic state of affairs very, very logically . Warning: Computer programming joke ahead.
if (texts == playful) {
ask("Practice you want to take hold of a drink sometime?")
}
else if (texts 6. Asterisk.
Meaning: You're afraid the person isn't every bit cool equally you lot.
The main reason people use asterisks in a text is to conscience a word, for example: "I similar deep-fried sandwiches so my friends call me the C*** of Monte Cristo. Niggling do they know I'thou plotting my elaborate revenge on them."
And there'due south really merely i reason to censor a swear word: if you're agape the person's non as cool as y'all . Considering if they were, they'd run around dropping f-bombs and c-bombs and f'd-in-the-a-with-your-own-d-bombs without the censorship.
So asterisks imply that you lot don't think that person likes it raw, like y'all (and ODB). Save the asterisks for funny usage, something like this: "I bet you $65,000* that I am a better bowler than you.
*prize may be substituted for firm handshake or one plow at claw game."
- Plus Sign.
Meaning: You've got it bad.
If yous use the plus sign in lieu of the word "and" or an ampersand, it's your subconscious telling you lot that you actually similar the person. When couples carve their names into trees, they use a plus sign between them. "Laura + Mike. July 1991. I do it for yous"; "Joe + Susan. Jan 1998. Our hearts will proceed"; "Logan + Madison. August 2010. California gurls."
A plus sign doesn't only translate to "and" ... information technology'southward a symbolic unification . So if you transport the text "Me + you should go to Medieval Times," you lot're really etching those Medieval Times plans -- and the dearest therein -- into a tree.
- Emoticons.
Meaning: Y'all want to bring the conversation to life.
Texting is a faceless, emotionless ways of communication. And then no affair how middle schoolhouse-ish they are, emoticons can exist the best way to make your texts feel 3-D (and non crappy, retrofitted 3-D similar they're using in movies to add to the ticket prices. Adept 3-D).
For women, use them advisedly. Also many and yous await young . I had a friend who was texting with a girl and every unmarried message she sent independent the winky face. It's like she was outsourcing her texting to a seventh grader. (Or that her emoticon had some kind of palsy.)
And if you lot're male ... steer very articulate. Any ratio higher than one emoticon per one hundred texts is pure poison.
- Ellipses.
Pregnant: You lot want the person to read between the lines.
Using ellipses in a text is your style of maxim what yous either tin't say yet (considering it'd autumn nether the "too soon" umbrella), or what you are afraid to say (because you're afraid y'all'll seem bellicose or high maintenance). Check out this example:
Aye, Kickboxer 4 could piece of work ... I've also heard expert things nigh that Katherine Heigl movie Falling in Beloved Is Neat* ... either way, run into you there at 8?*
It's clear what that text really ways: "I'd rather dice than see a movie most the underground world of kickboxing, and you're an idiot for suggesting that nosotros get see information technology. I'd rather run into a romantic comedy. And now, because this has gotten a fiddling bad-mannered, I think nosotros should meet at the theater so I have an escape plan."
You lot can also use ellipses in a positive style, to go the person'due south imagination going:
Had possibly a few too many drinks last nighttime ... legs are sore from dancing ... in the bathtub correct now ...
That text takes three statements and just loads them with sexual undertones thanks to the ellipses. (Unless a guy sent that text. And so information technology's but kind of odd.)
- Question Marks.
Pregnant: Information technology depends on how many question marks y'all use.
Question marks have a tendency to stack onto each other. And with each stack the pregnant changes .
What fourth dimension do y'all desire to meet up? Simple, unassuming, and friendly. Gets the point beyond, elicits a response, but also drives toward a solution.
What time do yous want to run across up?? Looks like a typo.
What time do yous want to meet up??? Feels impatient, childish. Information technology'south an aggressive question: Information technology demands a response, and suggests that the response had better be to your liking.
What time do you want to meet upward???? Cycles back to playful. Now it's a joke. If you (God forbid) talked to the person on the phone, you lot might sing-say that entire question.
What fourth dimension do you desire to meet upwards????? As well many. Now information technology'southward merely confusing. Why were five question marks necessary? This seems like the kind of person who would write "kewl."
Then ... utilize i question mark to just motility the conversation along, and four to motility it along flirtatiously. Anything else and yous're doing information technology incorrect.
- Tilde.
Meaning: You lot're either a punctuation master non confined to the traditional system ... or you're Hispanic.
Either way, you sound like a catch to me .
See Also:- three Smart Things About Online Dating
- Problem Hooking Up? There's an App for That
- Volume Excerpt: Always On: How Smartphones Change Policing
Source: https://www.wired.com/2011/06/secret-meanings-text-message-punctuation/
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